


To the one I've loved the most

by sweetcreatureLWT



Category: Harry Styles - Fandom, Louis Tomlinson - Fandom, One Direction (Band), liam payne - Fandom, niall horan - Fandom, zayn malik - Fandom
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Normal High School, BoyxBoy, College, Harry Styles - Freeform, Heartbreak, Louis Tomlinson - Freeform, Love, M/M, MalexMale, Memories, USA, break-up, one direction - Freeform, texts
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-10
Updated: 2019-04-30
Packaged: 2019-11-15 02:45:52
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,289
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18065096
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sweetcreatureLWT/pseuds/sweetcreatureLWT
Summary: A heartbreak is always something hard to go through, but it gets even worse when you’re the reason why you and the love of your life broke up. It’s also unfortunate when you’re really bad at forgetting people.Harry was in love with Louis, he had been in love with him since the first time he had seen him crying in a bathroom at a stupid party during junior year. He was so in love with Louis that he was convinced he was his soulmate but as we all know, things don’t always work out the way we’d want them to…





	1. "I didn't mean to"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i’d like to thank my friend Mia for being my beta! 
> 
> in case you ever wanted to talk to me here’s my twitter (@/justholdonLT) and here’s mia since she’s a clout chaser (@/mutualouie)

“Louis” Said Harry loudly whilst he _quickly turned pale. He immediately covered his naked muscular body with the bed sheets and moved from the body of the girl he was sharing that hotel room with._

_He got up as he kept staring at his boyfriend in shock. He knew he had just lost him, he knew what he had just done was wrong and he couldn’t even understand why he had done that._

_He got dressed fast, ignoring the confused brunette who was still laying in bed._

_The curly one put on the white transparent shirt he had worn on his first date with Louis to try to impress him after wearing his black skinny jeans._

_Louis had run out of that hotel, tears were streaming down his face and he couldn’t stand it, he didn’t want Harry to see him crying. He was just so hurt. Nothing made sense to him._

_How could Harry have cheated on him? The same Harry he used to fantasize about his future with, the same Harry who had told him he would never hurt him, the one who had told him he loved him a million times, his first love, the one he trusted more than anyone else…_

_That was the hotel Harry had booked for him and Louis to celebrate their last prom night together after dancing with their friends and having some fun. But Harry had left to “go to the bathroom” about an hour into the party and never came back and Louis was really worried because Harry’s phone had been turned off and he had no idea where the boy was. He was on the verge of panic when Logan, a friend of theirs, told him he had seen the curly boy leave the school and get into his car. It took Louis about two hours to find Harry, the worst two hours of his life which got even worse when he caught his boyfriend in a bed with a woman he had never seen before._

_Louis just wanted to wake up from that horrible nightmare, but it was impossible to wake up from reality._

_He kept walking in the hotel’s parking lot but he didn’t even know where to go since it was raining. He was so tired, his legs hurt so much since he had walked all around the city to look for his boyfriend, well… Ex-boyfriend._

_“I swear I can explain..” Whispered Harry as soon as he reached Louis. He made him stop by grabbing his wrist and then he looked at his loved one’s wet eyes. He immediately felt like a despicable person. He held his innocent hands with his sinful ones._

_He held Louis’s hands in the same way he did when they first met in that bathroom at that party, when Louis couldn’t stop crying because the boy he had a crush on had just broken his heart in the rudest way possible and so Harry had promised him no one would have ever hurt him again. He didn’t want to look at Harry’s eyes or lips because he was weak and still so in love, he knew he would have forgiven him if he had looked in his green eyes. So he whispered: “Don’t touch me.”_

_Their bodies were completely wet and so were their clothes which clung to their bodies, but the pouring rain was nothing compared to the huge storm that was going on in Louis’s heart._

_The boy with the green eyes moved and bit his lip as he was trying not to cry. He had just ruined everything. “It can’t be over, not like this. I love you so much.”_

_“Cheating is the worst thing you could ever do to a person, you shouldn’t take people for granted” Said Louis with a sad smile on his face while taking a few steps back to be as far away as he could from the other boy. “Didn’t you tell me?”_

_“I didn’t want to. Please Lou, forgive me” Said Harry. He really wanted Louis to forgive him but he knew he shouldn’t have._

_“You didn’t want to? You can’t put your dick into that girl’s mouth and say you didn’t want to!” Barked out Louis, he was still shocked. “I’m not going to forgive you, Harry. I may be in love with you but I am not a fool. And don’t call me Lou”_

_“Please, I love you...” Whined Harry while looking at the love of his life walking towards a taxi that was coming._

_Louis didn’t reply, he started walking faster instead._

_“I’m leaving tomorrow, Louis. I’m moving to New York, forever...” Said Harry as he was whipping a tear off his cheek. “Columbia university offered me a scholarship.”_

_“I’m happy for you, Harry, your dream came true...” Said the boy with blue eyes while forcing his best smile. He got closer to the curly one and took his hand. “Just… Don’t forget about me, please”_

Harry suddenly woke up, he got up wheezing. Nightmares kept chasing him since that night, he relived that dream almost every night. He looked around his room trying to relax. He looked at the alarm clock on his night table, it was  3AM and his roommate was calmly asleep in his bed on the opposite side of the room.

 

He couldn’t take it anymore, he had to be brave, so he reached to his phone that was on his night table and unlocked it. He wrote down Louis’s phone number and started writing his text, he hesitated a bit before to press “send”.

**Haz** : It’s only been three months and you have no idea how much I miss you. I regret doing what I’ve done every damn second, I took you for granted and now you’re not here with me anymore, I probably deserved it but I feel so bad. You’re the only one I think about, the one that I love, Louis. Never forget this.


	2. 2) Silence is killing me

The following day, Harry woke up to an annoying noise coming from the opposite side of his room. He frowned, and pursed his lips. His curly hair was scattered all over his face, it was such a fastidious feeling. He really needed to get a haircut.  

He wrapped himself between his bed sheets and tried to cover his poor ears with his pillow so that the unbearable sound that had woken him up a few minutes before could finally stop but it didn’t work. He didn’t even feel like opening his eyes. He was way too tired and he knew where that noise came from... He cleared his throat and then talked in his deep morning voice: «Niall... Shut the fuck up.»  

He wasn’t particularly on swearing but that boy was really good at getting on his nerves.

It was 8 AM and Niall, his not-so-quiet roommate, was already playing his brand new electric guitar with his amplifier on. Harry opened his bright green eyes and thanked God he was not able to see himself in that moment, he probably looked awful: messy hair, huge eyebags, his puffy and sleepy eyes... «Could you at least turn the fucking amp off?»

«I need to practice, Haz. I’ll be playing at that pub downtown with the boys tonight. Wanna come to see us?» He didn’t even look at Harry, instead he kept playing his beloved guitar.

 _That’s it, his favorite excuse_ thought Harry. Niall was in a band with three other boys who were also Columbia students, they were quite popular especially among girls, which made Niall really happy and annoyed Harry a bit since he was never allowed to get back into his room until 2AM on the weekends. Not that Niall had ever explicitly told him not to but after walking in on Niall having fun with a girl a few times he had realised it was better not to be in his room that early after one of his shows. Niall’s band, _The House of Venus,_ was really appreciated by people their age. They used to perform in local pubs at least once a week, during their shows they used to sing a few of their own songs even though their workhorse was definitely their cover of “All you need is love” by the Beatles. Their little shows in pubs were sold out every night so Niall usually felt pretty pressured to give people a good show, that’s why he used to practice day and night when close to a show.

The curly one was definitely not happy on that day. He had planned his whole Saturday: he was supposed to wake up at 10AM, wear a comfy tracksuit and a pair of sneakers and then go for a run, stop at the campus’ café, get a cup of coffee and then study a bit before to relax and then go out that night. But his roommate’s plans were far different from his.

«No, I’m not coming to your show tonight, just turn that shit off.» Blurted Harry.

He was  irascible on that particular day. He had been up the whole night thinking about Louis and all of the possible replies to his text and that was definitely not a good thing.

Harry got up from his warm bed, walked towards his friend and rudely pulled the plug out of the socket which made Niall raise his eyebrows. He was surprised because Harry used to be such a calm person.

The curly one couldn’t keep himself from grabbing Niall’s t-shirt. He was far from being violent on a normal day but that was definitely not a normal day. «If I tell you to turn that shit off, you need to turn it off, yeah?»  

Niall swallowed, he had only seen Harry behaving like that once in the past few months they had spent together and it was pretty frightening, it had been the first time. His eyes didn’t even look like his, they were full of anger and grudge…

They kept looking at each other in the eyes for a few seconds. None of them knew what to say. Niall was nervous, he didn’t know what to expect. On the other hand, Harry was starting to feel bad for what he had just done. Was he supposed to apology? If so, then how?

Harry looked away and walked towards his bed, not saying a word. He grabbed his phone and took a tracksuit from his closet before to exit the room and head to the bathroom. Every day he thanked God he had managed to rent an apartment with a few other boys who were also attending college there. He definitely couldn’t picture himself living in dorms or in a frat house, way too stressful.

He locked himself in the bathroom and silently leaned against the door. Harry was nervous. It was time to turn on his phone and look at Louis’ reply to his risky text. The curly one knew Louis very well so he was almost sure what his reaction to that text had been: Louis had probably freaked out right after reading his words, he had waited a few seconds to think about what to do and then he had told him to _fuck off_. Louis was really stubborn, nothing could change his mind and he was mad at Harry, he was right to be mad at him.

Harry unlocked his phone and frowned after noticing the boy hadn’t replied to him. He sighed. In the back of his mind he knew it. He knew Louis was probably ignoring him on purpose but thinking about that really hurt. Way too much so Harry tried to lie to himself by telling himself that Louis probably hadn’t seen his text yet or maybe he was just too busy to reply and he would’ve replied in a few hours.

Harry put his phone on the piece of furniture next to the shower and took off his clothes. He was ready to start a relaxing warm shower when his phone rang.

He immediately thought about Louis, but it wasn’t him. It was just a text from Lucas, who wanted to tell him about an amazing party at his frat house on that night.

Lucas, whom Harry used to call an _exuberant bottom_ was a black-haired and blue-eyed tall boy Harry had made out with during a party after happily getting drunk. Well, things hadn’t just stopped after a few kisses but that doesn’t really matter.

There wasn’t anything special between the two of them, they were friends who had sex once in a while, with no romantic feelings. The sex was great, definitely great and both of the guys liked it just like that. Well, maybe it was a bit more than that to Lucas.

 ** _Harry Styles:_** My dear, I would never reject such an invite. See you tonight (;

He quickly replied to the text before to get into the shower and feel all of his tense muscles relax as the hot water hit his skin.

Harry was used to thinking a lot while taking showers and that’s the reason why he ended up thinking about Louis. _His_ Louis…

_If only he wash ere with me… What would he say?_

Louis used to admire him so much as a person back when they were together but what would he say about the current Harry? He would probably find him pathetic…

After getting out of the shower he quickly grabbed his phone and texted the one person he had loved the most in his entire life, that one person he was sure he was never going to forget.

 ** _Haz_** ❤️ ** _:_** Please, say something, Louis. Silence is killing me. I’m slowly turning into everything you’ve always hated.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the second chapter of this Larry fanfiction. I hope you'll like it! Let me know what you think about it by leaving kudos and comments! Don't worry, more Larry content is getting closer.

**Author's Note:**

> English is not my first language, I'm writing this to practice a bit. But also to get this off my chest since I've experienced something similar, I hope the person I dedicate this to knows I will never stop loving them, they'll always be an important part of my life.
> 
> This story will have a few more chapters I still don't know how many, please don't let this sad beginning stop you from reading this story. Soooooo much more is coming!
> 
> I hope you'll like it, please let me know! Leave comments with your honest opinions and please likes!


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